last year in april i was admited to a treatment center called CRTC in Minneapolis MN. i was admited because i made a suicide attempt. i was admited because of my clinical depression, my anxiety, my BPD traits, my anger, and my drug and alcohol issue. i made many friends there. some i am still in contact with. but distinctly remember being there and having limited contact with music. i wasn't allowed to have my Pantera CD, my Metallica CD, or even my Pearl Jam CD. was cut off from everything that validated my emotions and told me that it was ok to feel this way. it made me feel whole and that it was normal to feel this way.

over time you were able to request passes to go out in the cummunity and eventually double over nights at home. along with this you were allowed to go on activities with the people and staff at the treatment center. i remember going into Target and seeing that there was a new Lamb Of God album. Resolution. in the past my friends listend to Lamb Of God but i never really got into them. i bought the CD and snuck it into CRTC. as soon as i put it in my CD player and turned it on, all my feelings of lonliness disappeared. the lyrics spoke to me and made me feel whole again.

after i discharged i went home and i bought every Lamb Of God album ever made, From Burn The Priest, to Killadelphia. from As The Palaces Burn, to wrath. i bought all of them and i listened to all of them in release date order from beginning to end. and after i was through with all of them i sat in my room in silence. i sat there and had a a relaization. i am not the only person in this world that feels this way. and the line that has always given me hope is "Take Hold of my hand, for you are no longer alone, walk with me in hell"